Traditional Vietnamese Wedding Ceremony

Traditionally, the couple must stay apart on the day before to prevent bad luck. On the night before, the bride's mother will tend her daughter’s hair with several combs. Every comb means something, but the most important is the third comb - at that time she will ask for luck and happiness. On the wedding day, the bride’s family and invited guests assemble at her house to await the arrival of the groom. Shortly before the groom’s party is due, the bride slips away to don her wedding dress.

Receiving Bride at Her House

Gifts from the Groom's Family:
The groom’s parents and immediate relatives are preceded by an odd number of young men smartly dressed in shirt and tie, and dark trousers. They each carry a tray covered in a red cloth, or alternatively a large red and gold canister, containing gifts of betel leaves, areca nuts, wine, fruit, cakes, tea and so on. Upon arrival the young men dismount and are met by the same number of young women dressed in red ao dais (Vietnamese traditional dress). The men hand the gifts to the women who take them inside. Each young woman hands her male counterpart a small amount of money to designate that they are ‘working’ – there is a superstition that being an unpaid helper at a wedding will mean that you won’t marry.

Accepting the Gifts:
The leading couple of the groom’s party enters the bride’s house carrying a tray of small cups of wine and invite the bride’s parents to take a sip. By accepting the toast, the bride’s parents symbolically agree to admit the groom’s party. The groom's family introduce themselves and ask permission for their son to marry his bride. A Master of Ceremonies (usually a respected person chosen from the bride's relatives) instructs the bride’s parents to present their daughter. The bride then enters.

The Ceremony
The wedding ceremony begins in front of the altar. The bride and the groom kneel down and pray, asking their ancestors' permission to be married and their blessing on their family-to-be. The couple then turn around and bow to the bride's parents to thank them for raising and protecting her since birth. They then bow their heads towards each other to show their gratitude and respect to their soon-to-be husband or wife. The Master of Ceremonies then advises the wedding couple on starting a new family and the two sets of parents take turns to share their experiences and give blessings. A formal tea, candle ceremony and speeches follow. The bride and groom, in front of all their guests, will serve tea (or wine) to their parents. Each parent will then give advice about marriage and family to the couple. A candle ceremony will follow, symbolizing the joining of the bride and groom and the joining of the two families. The groom's gift boxes filled with jewelry will be opened by the groom’s mother, who will then put each piece on the bride for good fortune. The groom and the bride then exchange wedding rings, and the parents give the newly wedded couple gold bracelets, earrings and other valuable gifts.

Bringing Bride to Groom's House

As the procession arrives back at the groom's house, the groom's family members that did not take part in the procession but remained at home will light firecrackers in celebration. The newlyweds will be brought to the groom's ancestor altar, where another ancestor ceremony takes place and the bride is introduced to the groom's relatives. Finally, the bride is brought to the couple's room and introduced to their marriage bed.

The Reception for Bride and Groom's Family and Friends

A wedding banquet is scheduled in the evening at the Richardson Women's Club. It is always a delight feast that all relatives, friends, and neighbors are invited. A music band is usually hired to play live songs. At the banquet, the groom, bride, and their family are once again introduced to the guests and everyone will drink a toast followed by dinner. During the reception, the groom, bride, and their parents will stop by each table to say thank to their guests. In modern weddings, brides usually change into three different gowns during the reception. Her dresses are usually composed of the Western white wedding gown, a second Western dress to be worn at the end of the evening during the dancing, and a third traditional Ao Dai be worn during the traditional table visits to personally thank the guests for coming. A lot of weddings nowadays are followed by a dancing party, which is opened by the groom and the bride's first dance. The party does not recess until very late at night. The newly wedded couples then leave for their honey moon.